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How to Demonstrate Caring Leadership Through Better Questions
Leadership is a Relationship
John Eades
10 Apr
3 Insights for Your Leadership Journey
Leadership is a relationship.
The quality of the relationship between leader and team member is the most critical in the workplace. Because people don’t leave bad companies, they leave bad managers. Building a bond with a team member that includes trust, commitment, and healthy conflict requires caring first.
Here are three principles to remember if you care about relationships:
I. Connect before you correct
What it means:
Many managers forget the gravity of their role and its impact on those they get the opportunity to lead. They must avoid coming in hot with accountability, standards, and rules.
While those are essential to high performance, they burn people out quickly without strong relationships. People respond much better to difficult conversations, coaching, and feedback when they know they are cared for by a leader.
So remember, you must connect before you correct. Said differently, rules before relationship lead to rebellion. (Essential principle for parents as well.)
II. You can be efficient with things but not people. With people, you must be effective.
What it means:
This quote from Steven Covey stopped me in my tracks a few years ago when Scott Miller said it on my podcast. I wrote it down immediately and went back and listened to it again five times.
People aren’t meant to be optimized like your to-do list. They need time, attention, and someone who cares about them. Create a routine where you dedicate time for one-on-one’s with people.
I always love evaluating these questions about effectiveness in relationships:
What’s the point of having a big house if it’s empty?
What’s the point of building a company if you aren’t in a good relationship with the people you do it with?
What’s the point of accomplishing something meaningful if you don’t have anyone to celebrate with?
III. Asking insightful questions is important, but paying attention to the response is more critical.
What it means:
If you fail to give your undivided attention to a great question, the quality of the question doesn’t matter. Be curious and have a strong desire to learn something from others. Giving someone your undivided attention is a gift that you should give more often. I know you are busy and important, but actively listening and being genuinely interested in other people is a superpower.
If you ask better questions, you will get better answers. Just be sure to listen.
Keep Leading Your Best,
John Eades | CEO LearnLoft
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