- The Leadership Lens
- Posts
- Fatherhood is Leadership
Fatherhood is Leadership
John Eades
16 Jun
Leadership is best taught by experiencing it.
Fatherhood provides the best and most consistent opportunity to demonstrate great leadership. Said differently, fatherhood is leadership. David Gottesman expresses why fatherhood is a journey and not a destination, just like leadership.
"Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers – and fathering is a very important stage in their development"
Last week, I taught a two-hour workshop in Charlotte called Drive to Lead. I defined leadership this way for the 75+ participants, “Someone whose actions inspire, empower, and serve in order to elevate others.” As I described it in real time, I couldn’t help but think of the incredible gift and responsibility of being a father and the relationship with my own dad.
Today, more than any other day, we get to celebrate and learn from fathers because fatherhood is leadership. Here are three leadership lessons I have learned from being a father.
Lesson 1: Kids Spell Love T.I.M.E.
The best way to develop an authentic relationship with kids isn’t by gifts, but through time. A mentor taught me, “Kids spell love T.I.M.E.,” and it stuck with me ever since. Time isn’t always plentiful because of other commitments; being present with kids when you have time with them is essential.
Since you or I can’t stop time, we might as well make the most of it with our kids when we get it together.
Lesson 2: Fathers Are Eventually Human
There is a saying that Fathers and sons go through three different phases in their relationship:
First Phase - Son Idolizes Father
Second Phase - Son Demonizes Father
Third Phase - Son Humanizes Father
Use the built-in idolization and respect that comes with being a father, but use it to teach and inspire kids, not control and demean them.
Use the built-in idolization and respect that comes with being a father, but use it to teach and inspire, not control and demean.
That last phase of humanization is incredible because it’s freeing to know that your father isn’t perfect, and neither are you.
Lesson 3: Fathers Must Demonstrate Sacrificial Love
The word love that I am describing isn’t a feeling; it’s an action. What it means is to “will the good of another.” In order to do that, you must sacrifice. You must put the needs of your kids ahead of your own.
While this is easy to write, it’s difficult to put into practice because you wake up thinking about yourself first. If that wasn’t enough, there are times when your kids are selfish or behave poorly. That’s when they need your sacrificial love even more.
Being a father is hard. Providing, leading, and sacrificing aren’t easy things to do. However, since leadership is best taught by experiencing it, be grateful for the opportunity to be a father or learn from a father.
Happy Father’s Day!
John Eades | CEO LearnLoft
Reply