Most teammates won't tell you the truth. Not because they don't see it. Because it's easier not to.
That's the feedback gap. Leadership IQ surveyed HR directors and executives this year. The finding was a bit jarring. 65% of managers regularly avoid or delay giving critical feedback.
I watched this play out in real time inside the Lead the Room workshop I was teaching in Houston last week.
The rule was simple. Following each person's one-minute speech, the small group had one minute to tell them what they did well and what they could do to improve. What followed was a lot of "You did awesome," and “Loved it.”
But the real lesson came from the back table, after a team member finished her pitch. One team member piped up. "You did some things well. But there were two things you could do better." What followed was simple. She'd caught the presenter using the filler word "um" too often, and her pace was too fast.
It was the exact moment that leader needed. She now knew precisely how to take her presentation skills to the next level. And it never would have happened if one person hadn't had the courage and the skill to say the feedback out loud.
The Pink Ribbon Problem
I call it the pink ribbon problem. Most managers hand out the pink ribbon. They encourage because it's easier and it feels good. And there is no denying that praise matters. But it doesn't tell anyone what to do differently to improve. It builds confidence, but it doesn't build capability.
There's nothing wrong with a pink ribbon if the goal is just future participation. Encouragement keeps people showing up or continuing on when things get hard. But in a competitive professional environment, the goal isn’t participation; it is performance improvement. Said differently, praise confirms but feedback improves.
In a competitive professional environment, the goal isn’t participation; it is performance improvement.
How to Improve at Anything
To get better at anything, a person must have a growth mindset then three things are required. I call it the Improvement Cycle.
Insight — Knowledge about what or how to do it.
Action — Doing it with consistent repetition
Feedback — Hearing what worked or what modification to make in the future.
Skip getting feedback, and there is no cycle.
The Feedback Gap
Here's the stat that should bother every leader reading this. Only 35% of managers are actually skilled at giving feedback. Meanwhile, employees who receive it are three times more engaged and productive. That gap in the middle, between what managers are willing to do and what their people need, is where performance improvement quietly dies.
Withholding feedback feels selfless. Like you're sparing someone's feelings or protecting the relationship. But it isn’t selfless; it’s selfish. You're choosing your own comfort over their growth.
The legendary football coach Tom Landry had this awesome line: "A coach is someone who tells you what you don't want to hear, who has you see what you don't want to see, so you can be who you have always known you could be."
So the question isn't whether you should give feedback to your people; you should. It's whether you're willing to be the one person at the back table who tells them the truth, even when you are uncomfortable.
Here's your challenge this week. When someone you care about does something that isn’t up to the standard or matches their potential, give them feedback in the moment. It shows you truly care.
Use your gifts,
John Eades
Founder of LearnLoft | The Sales Infrastructure
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